


Breaking the Frame

by glitterburn (orphan_account)



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Hentai, Kink Meme, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-23
Updated: 2012-04-23
Packaged: 2017-11-04 05:18:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/390184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/glitterburn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin is an otaku with a crush on the hero of his favourite yaoi manga, <i>Cutie Honey Funny Bunny</i>. He’s resigned to one-dimensional lovin’ until the day he finds Bunny very much in three dimensions and eager to relieve Changmin of his virginity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking the Frame

Changmin hurries along the street, head down, both arms clasped around the thin plastic bag and the priceless treasure it contains. Okay, maybe it’s not priceless because he just paid four hundred thousand won for it, but it’s rare. Rarer than rare. Rarer than dragon’s teeth. Rarer than the four-page _My Girlfriend is an Alien House Cat_ mini-comic with the screen tones printed in the wrong places. Changmin has two copies of that. But this—this beauty he’s just bought... it’s one of only fifteen copies in the entire world.

It’s taken him months to track it down. A doujinshi of this calibre hardly ever surfaces for sale on the open market. It’s something whispered of in internet chat rooms, and occasionally a low-quality photograph of the cover is posted, only to be deleted a few hours later. Changmin had never expected that he might be able to get his hands on a copy, but thanks to a friend of a friend of a colleague of the owner of the comic shop that Changmin frequents, finally he had the opportunity to buy this doujinshi for himself.

He straightens up as he approaches the bank where he works, twisting the handle of the plastic bag around his fingers. His heart is racing as if he’s trying to sneak porn into the workplace. Technically that’s exactly what he’s doing, but he focuses on the fact that the manga isn’t just some mass-produced yaoi smut—it’s Art. 

Changmin is very fussy about which manga he reads these days. The line art has to be beautiful and the story has to be engrossing, or it has to make him laugh, and he needs to fall in love with the hero. The latter concern is the most important, because Changmin has never had a real boyfriend or a real girlfriend—an accidental drunken snog at the office Christmas party two years ago hardly counts. When he was younger he’d tried to be normal and went on a handful of dates, but it never worked out and now here he is, a geeky bank clerk with a manga collection that threatens to pull down the walls of his apartment, and he’s still a virgin at the age of twenty-four.

But that’s okay, because he has the ultra-rare _Cutie Honey Funny Bunny_ doujinshi, and nothing else matters.

He goes to his desk and sits down. Glances around to see if anyone is looking. They’re not. Changmin opens the bag. Puts his hand inside and inches the doujinshi out halfway so he can see the cover. He takes a quick breath, pulse thudding as he peeks at the full colour artwork.

Oh God, it’s even more incredible than he’d imagined.

Cassiopeia, the writer/artist of _Cutie Honey Funny Bunny_ , has stated in several interviews that, despite his name, Bunny would never bottom. ‘He’s far too manly for that,’ she’d said, which only led to a rash of doujinshi featuring Cutie Honey Funny Bunny giving it up to just about every other character in the series. Changmin has all of those doujinshi, but most are printed on inferior stock or the line art lacks skill. But this one— _this_ one—oh yes, this doujinshi is drawn by Cassiopeia herself and it depicts Bunny as the uke. 

Rumour has it that Cassiopeia produced the manga as the result of a drunken bet. She’d retrieved nine of the fifteen copies and burned them, or so Bunnysgrrl92 claimed on one forum, although Honey_Fan had said on another site that Cassiopeia had just locked those nine doujinshi in a bank vault. 

The fact is, no one in any of the chat rooms where Changmin spends most of his time has ever seen more than that crappy photo of the cover, and so speculation as to the content of the doujinshi was just that—speculation.

But now Changmin can see for himself, and he’s so excited he’s trembling. He knows how fucking sad and tragic that makes him, but he doesn’t care. He gazes at the doujinshi in its protective sleeve, stares at the cover image of Cutie Honey Funny Bunny’s alter ego, Jung Yunho, splayed naked and wanton on a beach with a huge multitasking octopus going at him in a parody of Hokusai’s shunga print _The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife_. One tentacle is gagging Yunho; another two tickle at his nipples; a fourth spirals around his waist. The fifth tentacle is wrapped around one thigh, spreading his legs wide apart. The sixth and smallest tentacle coils around the base of Yunho’s dick while the octopus stuffs the rest of his cock in its hungry beak, and tentacles seven and eight are buried deep inside Yunho’s ass, giving him a good shafting.

Changmin wriggles in his seat. Aw crap, he’s getting turned on just from the cover art. He pushes the doujinshi back into the bag and tries to distract himself. Maybe if he staples his hand or something. He pulls the paperwork for a loan agreement towards him and reads it three times before giving up. There’s no way he’ll be able to concentrate on anything until he’s looked at the doujinshi again. Just the first couple of pages. He won’t read the whole thing. He wants to savour it, and a hasty skim-through at work won’t be enough for him to appreciate every line and curve and tone.

But still. A few pages won’t hurt. Maybe four. Just so he can find out how Yunho got entangled with the octopus.

He still has fifteen minutes before the end of his lunch break. No one will care if he reads the doujinshi, but Changmin doesn’t want to look at it here in the office. It seems sacrilegious, and besides, someone might walk past and see what he’s reading and they just wouldn’t understand.

He gets up, tucks the plastic bag under his arm, and meanders towards the back of the office. His first thought is to go to the bathroom, but that’s not really private enough and besides, he doesn’t want to expose the doujinshi to germs or toilet lids that haven’t been cleaned properly. No, there’s only one real option—amongst the old files in the basement.

Changmin goes downstairs. The basement is musty and drowned in shadows, lit by a few flickering fluorescent tubes that hum at an irritating pitch. He moves between the stacks and settles in the section labelled _Personal Loans 1969-1979_. Elbowing a couple of boxes out of the way, Changmin clears a space on a shelf at waist height. He slides the doujinshi from the plastic bag and then removes it from its protective sleeve. Making sure he has enough light to see clearly, he lays the manga on the shelf and takes one more look at the cover image.

He’s glad Yunho is depicted there. Yunho hasn’t had nearly enough covers.

_Cutie Honey Funny Bunny_ fans are divided between those who prefer Yunho and those who prefer Bunny. Several flamewars have broken out and things got very nasty on one forum and about thirty people had their posting rights suspended, though some of them were socks. Changmin thinks it’s all a bit ridiculous really, considering that Yunho and Bunny are the same person. They both fight crime, although Yunho is a cop and Bunny is an intergalactic time-travelling detective who solves problems with sex. Otherwise they’re the same. Except Bunny has different coloured hair. And fewer clothes. And he’s a lot more chirpy than Yunho. But that’s because Yunho has suffered a traumatic past in which his work partner, who was also his lover, was killed by a bad guy who is so evil that no one knows his identity yet.

Changmin thinks he likes tormented, brooding men. Not that he’s met any in real life, but that’s what manga is for. 

Yunho, unlike Bunny, hasn’t had a love interest in the one hundred and twenty-eight issues of _Fap_ magazine that serialises _Cutie Honey Funny Bunny_. Changmin likes to think this is because Yunho is secretly a uke in denial, whereas Bunny is toppy as all fuck. The very notion of this duality infuriates many fans, but it’s provided Changmin with hours of pleasure, all of it self-administered.

This doujinshi is like the Holy Grail. Proof that Cassiopeia has looked deep within her heart and recognised, even if it was through a drunken haze, that Yunho is a uke. And even if this acknowledgement is only ever expressed in this one super-rare, twenty-four page doujinshi, it’s enough.

Changmin can’t wait any longer. Anticipation riots through him. Taking a deep breath, he carefully opens the doujinshi. 

The story starts with Yunho walking on the beach. He looks sad, no doubt lost in thoughts of his tragic past. He kicks the sand and then notices something at his feet. It’s a sea cucumber. Changmin is sure this holds profound significance in the overall arc of the manga, but he doesn’t want to think too much about it. He just wants to get to the good stuff. 

A POV shift. The octopus lurks a short distance away. It spies Yunho alone on the beach and begins a stealthy wriggle through the waves. Its beady eyes are full of dangerous passion. Its tentacles undulate as its desire rises.

Changmin turns the page. His gaze skitters over the rampaging octopus breaking free of its panel and reaching out with its groping tentacles. Briefly he admires the way the lust-crazed cephalopod catches Yunho by the ankles and drags him onto the wet sand by the shore. With remarkable skill, the octopus rips Yunho’s clothes off. Changmin whines with excitement at each lovingly rendered panel as Yunho is stripped naked. Waves lap at Yunho’s thighs and splash over his chest. He looks furious and, when he sees the octopus advancing upon him, tentacles writhing, he looks afraid. 

Changmin gives up reading the scant dialogue and internal monologues. He studies the next page, catches his breath as Yunho tries to fight off the horny cephalopod. Why doesn’t he transform into Cutie Honey Funny Bunny and save himself? Changmin doesn’t think he cares right now. He turns the page, hand shaking, and stares at the sequence in which the octopus secretes some sort of aquatic lube and shoves one big tentacle deep inside Yunho’s ass. 

Changmin’s heart pounds. His breathing is sharp and shallow. It’s warm in the basement amongst the files, but that’s not why he’s sweating. He licks his top lip, tastes the perspiration there. It’s salty and sweet, and he imagines Yunho’s ozone-kissed skin would taste the same. 

Usually when he reads _Cutie Honey Funny Bunny_ he puts himself in the position of whichever lucky character Bunny is fucking. Today he wants to be the octopus. He’s never wanted to be an octopus before and tentacle porn has never been one of his kinks, but now that’s all changed. He wants to have thick, muscular tentacles with wicked little suckers that bruise flesh. He wants to shove his tentacles inside Yunho, split him in half with his massive marine strength, wants to leave a trail of love-bites with his suckers and his sharp little octopus beak.

Unhh, he has to touch himself. Changmin unzips his trousers and shoves his hand inside. His cock is hard, the tip already leaking. He’s been wanting this since he first looked at the cover. He squeezes his dick, takes a firm hold, and begins to work it.

In the next sequence, the octopus wraps a tentacle around Yunho’s waist to hold him still as it molests him with all its other legs or arms or whatever the hell they are. And then it draws up its eighth tentacle and forces it in alongside its biggest tentacle, and it fucks Yunho good and hard, rams into him with such force that Yunho is ground into the sand. His back arches and he thrashes about helplessly, impaled on the ravaging tentacles.

But that’s not the hottest thing about this page. Even hotter than non-con tentacle beach sex is the panel that shows a close-up of Yunho’s face, of his agonised, conflicted expression as he takes the tentacle-fucking. Because in that panel, his eyes glimmer with tears. Yunho never cries. Never ever. This octopus has done the impossible and made Jung Yunho cry.

Changmin wishes with every atom of his being that he could be that octopus, that he could hold Yunho in his arms/legs/tentacles and witness those perfect, beautiful tears for himself. 

“Oh,” he gasps, trying to stifle the sound. “Oh, Yunho,” and he comes hard.

The pleasure fades all too soon, replaced by absolute horror. Oh fuck, he’s just spurted all over the pages of the doujinshi, and though it’s not the first time he’s jacked off whilst looking at Cutie Honey Funny Bunny, it is the first time he’s not used protection. Shit shit shit, this is a _disaster_. Panic blurs his vision, and Changmin uses his shirttails to mop at the pages. Thank God the stock is sturdy and the print fairly stable. Even so, some of it transfers onto his shirt as he tries to clean up, and he winces at every dab and wipe. He is such an idiot.

The best thing would be to leave the doujinshi open to the air so the pages dry. Okay, the paper will be all stiff in places, but if he returns the manga to the bag, the pages will just gum together and that’s something he can’t even bear to contemplate. He doesn’t want to leave the doujinshi down here, but it’s the safest place for it right now. Changmin pushes it to the back of the shelf and surrounds it with boxes. Shamefaced, he returns to the office and continues with his work. 

At the end of the day, he pretends to be engrossed in filing insurance claims and waits until his colleagues have left before he goes back down to the basement to retrieve the doujinshi.

But it’s not there.

Changmin spends frantic minutes searching for it. It’s not where he left it. The boxes are still in the exact same places, but the manga has gone. It’s not on the floor. It’s not slipped down the back of the shelf, and neither has it fallen between the stacks. He checks everywhere, but he can’t find it. The awful truth dawns.

Some bastard has stolen his doujinshi. Changmin vows that when he finds the scumbag responsible, he’ll scrape their skin off with sharpened spoons, like Bunny’s nemesis the evil Chef of Michelin in _Fap_ #27-34. Then maybe he’ll make a rug out of their flayed flesh, like the equally evil Pasha of İrtah in issue 85.

His rage and plans for revenge last until he goes out into the cold night air, and then they all shrivel away. It’s raining, and Changmin has to wait half an hour for a bus and then he trudges home, numb with his loss. Now he wishes he’d actually read the dialogue rather than just looking at the pictures. He wishes he hadn’t been stupid enough to jerk off over page five, because he still doesn’t know why Yunho had been captured by the octopus and why he hadn’t turned into Cutie Honey Funny Bunny.

His life sucks.

Soaked to the skin, his hair dripping wet, Changmin pushes open the door of the apartment block and collects his post. The lift is still broken, so he walks up six flights of stairs. He’s exhausted and miserable by the time he reaches his apartment. He goes inside and switches on the light. 

“Hello!”

The post scatters from Changmin’s hands. He backs up against the door, a cry of fright trembling in his throat.

Someone is lounging on his bed. No, that’s not right. Cutie Honey Funny Bunny is lounging on his bed. Naked. And three-dimensional. _Real_.

Changmin squeaks, slides down the door, and ends up in a heap on the floor.

“Hello!” Bunny says again, sitting up and smiling his utterly brilliant, heart-stopping smile. 

“Wah,” says Changmin. “Hrgh. B-B-Bunny?” He doesn’t know why he’s even bothering to check. He knows it’s Bunny and not Yunho because, well, he’s naked and that’s always a giveaway, plus his hair is all fluffy and it’s a golden-pinkish-red hue. Not much of a disguise but it always seems to bamboozle the baddies. Or maybe that’s just the sight of Bunny’s sexy chest and long legs and massive cock, and, well, just his overall total nakedness.

“Oh. You fell down,” Bunny says, looking concerned. “Let me help you up.” He bounces off the bed. ‘Bounce’ being the operative word in so many senses. Changmin tries to burrow backwards through the door. He’s not seen this much non-inked, non-screen-toned flesh on display since he watched _Deposits & Withdrawals_, that porno about working in a bank, which had upset him because it didn’t match his experience at all.

“It’s okay! I’m fine!” Changmin starts to crawl back up the door, but Bunny is right in front of him and has one arm around Changmin’s waist, lifting him to his feet. They press together, hot naked Bunny against Changmin’s neat, corporate, rain-drenched suit. The wet fabric drags at him; he can only imagine how it feels over Bunny’s skin. Oh crap, this is turning him on. Changmin tries to think of something depressing like foreclosures, but it’s not working.

His head spins. Bunny smells of sex, or at least Changmin imagines this is what sex smells like. Sort of musky and warm and with some sort of addictive trace-scent that makes him want to fall down again and roll over and spread his legs. He’d never imagined that Bunny would smell quite so appealing, maybe because he’d got so used to breathing in the pulpy scent of paper and the sharpness of ink whenever he’d read _Cutie Honey Funny Bunny_.

It’s making him feel faint. And it’s not just because of Bunny’s scent, either. This is the first time Changmin has been held so closely by anyone since he was nine years old. Back then it was because he’d fallen off his bicycle and his mum had given him a cuddle to stop him from crying. He kind of wants to cry now, but for a completely different reason. It still hurts, though.

“Hi,” Bunny says, smiling so much his eyes crinkle in a really cute way. “I should introduce myself, since I’m naked and you’re wet and we’ll be fucking in less than two minutes. I’m—”

“Bunny,” Changmin croaks. “You’re Cutie Honey Funny Bunny.”

Bunny wrinkles his nose. “Actually, you can call me Yunho. It’s like the worst-kept secret ever.”

“But,” says Changmin, “but Yunho is— You’re not— It’s _different_. Even though it isn’t. Like Superman and Clark Kent. Batman and Bruce Wayne. Iron Man and Robert Downey Jr. It’s... it’s easier for me to think of you as Bunny. While you’re like this.” He gestures vaguely. “With the hair. And the nakedness.”

Maybe it’s his imagination, but Changmin thinks Bunny looks the slightest bit disappointed. Then Bunny smiles again and says, “Okay. Glad we sorted that out. Let’s fuck.”

Changmin tries desperately to stall. “Uh, I didn’t tell you my name yet. I’m—I’m Changmin.” He has a brief mental image of himself in chibi form with hearts in place of his eyes, squealing _And I’m your biggest fan!_ Though right now maybe ‘I’m your lamest fan’ would be more appropriate.

“Changminnie.” Bunny takes his hand and starts to pull him across the small apartment towards the bed. “C’mon, let’s get to it.”

“Why?”

Bunny stops. Blinks. “Because this is what I do. I materialise in a dimension where there’s a problem that needs solving. I identify that problem by having sex. I then resolve the problem by having sex, thereby saving my love interest and the secondary character(s)/biosphere/habitation/era/galaxy by having sex.” He beams. “Changmin, there is no problem in any reality that cannot be solved by having sex!”

“I don’t know about that,” Changmin says. “I mean, I know that’s your usual modus operandi, but...”

“I was summoned here for a reason. Obviously that reason involves sex. Therefore—” and Bunny resumes towing Changmin past teetering piles of manga towards the bed, “we may extrapolate that we need to have wild monkey sex _right now_.”

Changmin has no idea what wild monkey sex entails but he thinks it probably has nothing to do with the Discovery Channel. “Er,” he says, “what happens if we _don’t_ have sex right now?”

Bunny stares at him, clearly perplexed by Changmin’s reluctance to throw himself wholeheartedly into hard, sweaty coupling. “Then I suppose a species of some cute fluffy animal will become extinct or a planet will explode or a sun will go supernova. That’s usually what happens if I don’t get my leg over or if I fail to please my love interest _du jour_.”

Changmin whimpers. Great, a fuck or die situation. It’s one of his favourite tropes to read, but it’s not so much fun when he’s the one who has to put out. Not when he has absolutely no experience. If Bunny is going to save the world yet again, then he should have a worthy partner. Someone desperately good-looking with a fantastic body and loads of sensual charm and lots of clever erotic tricks. He shouldn’t have to screw a too tall, too thin bank clerk with sticky-out ears and hair that’s a bit too long because he’s too shy to make an appointment at the hairdresser’s.

“Changminnie,” Bunny says, and he’s looking at the limited edition _Trash Mecha Battle Demons_ clock with all the combatants in place of the numbers, “Changminnie, do you realise that we’ve been talking for approximately seven minutes and we are still no closer to rutting like crazed beasts?” His expression is one of utter bewilderment. “This must be the longest time I haven’t had sex. It feels so strange.”

“That’s not true,” Changmin says. “In issues 42 through 45, you got hit with that anti-sex pollen. You had to go without for quite a while.”

Bunny frowns. “Yes, but I still made sure my love interests got off. My tongue is a perfectly good substitute, you know. And I give great hand jobs. Here, let me demonstrate—”

Changmin steps back. Oh, he’s so not ready for this. He’s trying to work out the least humiliating way possible to admit that he’s a virgin when finally— _finally_ —Bunny’s outfit materialises, slinking over his body to leave him more or less clothed. 

“Biker Bunny,” Changmin says, staring at all the leather. “Issue 56!”

“Hmm.” Bunny strokes a hand over his thigh, tugs at his leather jacket. “The smart-suit is slow to work in this dimension. It should recalibrate much faster than that.”

Changmin thinks of issue 14, in which Cutie Honey Funny Bunny’s smart-suit had failed to recalibrate to any setting, leaving poor Bunny completely naked for the full forty pages of the manga. That was one of his favourite issues and he has six copies stashed beneath his bed.

The smart-suit shifts again, cycles through the outfits for Rock Star Bunny, Ninja Bunny, and Aquaform Bunny before it settles into its standard calibration of a very snug-fitting all-in-one bodysuit that appears to be made out of a combination of leather, PVC, ribbon and mesh. It’s all black except for the silvery decorative elements that serve no real purpose other than to accentuate the length of Bunny’s legs and the sexy, solid muscle of his thighs, and part of the top, which is hot pink and slashed open to reveal a goodly expanse of Bunny’s chest. His arms are bare and he wears one leather glove for no apparent reason except it looks hot.

“That’s better.” Bunny gives a wriggle. “If we’re not going to be shagging any time soon then I may as well be decently dressed so as not to offend your sensibilities.”

“Uh.” Changmin decides not to mention that the smart-suit is so tight that it doesn’t exactly hide a great deal anyway. “I don’t think we should do anything until we work out why you’re here.”

“Duh,” Bunny says, tapping his head. “We already discussed that. You plus me equals fuckfest.”

“No, I mean— _why_ are you _here_?”

Bunny stares at him. “Is this some kind of philosophical quandary? Do I have to answer this question in order to fuck you? Are you going to ask me about my favourite colour and what’s the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

“What? No. I just...” Changmin knows he’s running out of options. He’s going to have to admit his humiliating secret to the most shagtastic man ever created. “I just want to know how you got here. Did you—” it’s so embarrassing to have to ask this, “did you sort of... arrive through my doujinshi?”

“The one you were wanking over at lunchtime?” Bunny tilts his head and gives another of those killer smiles. “I guess so. But who cares how I got here? I’m here now, and that means there’s a problem to be solved, so I should have sex with you in order to diagnose both the issue and the solution. And by the way, sixteen minutes now—so please can we cut the chat because I’m _really_ horny and I absolutely have got to have you really, really soon.”

“But,” Changmin says. “But the doujinshi was about Yunho.”

Bunny’s smile wavers a little. “I forgot you didn’t get past page five. I turned up on page sixteen.”

“Did you fight off that octopus?”

“Why are we still talking?” Bunny bounces back onto the bed and pats the place next to him. “Come here and let me fuck you into the mattress.”

Funny how dirty talk sounds much hotter in the manga. Changmin wonders what’s wrong with him. He has no idea how he should behave. Not even with an encyclopaedic knowledge of one hundred and twenty-eight issues worth of Bunny’s love interests. He can’t measure up to any of them. Even the nanobots from issue 97 that assembled into the Irish android Rusty Niall had greater coital experience than him, and they’re _nanobots_ , for fuck’s sake.

“I’m beginning to think you don’t find me attractive,” Bunny says, looking the teensiest bit cross. “I guess the fact that you jerked off over my alter ego should have been a sign.”

“I’ve jerked off over you, too!” Changmin protests. “Lots of times. I’ve done myself looking at you more times than I have whilst looking at Yunho. But that’s just because Yunho doesn’t get naked very often. There’s only been three gratuitous shower scenes and you couldn’t see much in any of them because of the artfully placed wisps of steam. I was so disappointed I set up an online petition of complaint and we got 187,698 signatures. Though I think some of them were socks.”

“So,” Bunny says, frowning, “if you fancy both versions of me, why are you standing over there looking like I’m offering you a root canal without anaesthetic?”

Changmin casts around for an excuse that might actually work. “I think we should get to know each other first.”

Bunny gives him an odd look. “Why?”

“Because.” Changmin flails. “You can’t just expect me to have sex with you.”

“Everyone else does,” Bunny says.

“Well, I’m not everyone else, okay?” Changmin can hear the upward slide of his voice and he winces at his gaucheness, his ineptitude, his total and utter fail. “Sometimes a fantasy shouldn’t become reality. Because it might—it might be too intimidating.”

“Look,” Bunny says in soothing tones, “I’m not going to lie, I do have a big dick—but it’s completely in proportion with the rest of my body.” He pauses. “Almost.”

Changmin sighs and sinks down on the end of the bed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What, then?” Bunny wriggles across the duvet, curls an arm around Changmin’s waist. Leans in and puts his chin on Changmin’s shoulder. “You can tell me. It might be part of the problem that I’m here to solve.”

Bunny’s logic seems inescapable. Changmin squeezes his eyes shut tight. “I’m... I’m a— I’ve never done this before. Never had sex.”

“You’re a virgin?” Bunny doesn’t pull away from him. Doesn’t point and laugh. If anything, he cuddles closer, and his voice is full of wonderment when he says, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a virgin.”

“Issue 69,” Changmin reminds him with a wan smile. “The Prince of Sampo.”

“Mm, yes.” Bunny makes a dismissive sound. “Technically he was, but he’d received extensive pleasure-training beforehand. And I’m guessing you haven’t benefited from the same sort of education.”

“No.” Cringing inwardly, his nerves fluttering, Changmin decides to reveal the full extent of his tragic lack of experience. “I’ve never even touched a guy properly. Or a girl, for that matter. Not that I want to touch girls, not like _that_ , but... I just—I haven’t even really kissed someone. I mean, technically I have, but she was drunk and she’d just thrown up and I’d held her hair for her and to be honest I don’t think she was really trying to kiss me, she just sort of... fell over and when I caught her she put her mouth on mine and it was _really_ disgusting and—”

Bunny cups his hand around Changmin’s face, leans in, and kisses him. 

It’s different to his not-real kiss at the Christmas party. Completely different. Bunny’s lips are surprisingly soft. He slants his mouth across Changmin’s, the pressure light enough to tease but also insistent enough to make Changmin want more. He tastes sweet, too, smooth and rich like cream or stupidly expensive chocolate, and it’s addictive, it must be, because Changmin kisses him back, opens his mouth to it.

The kiss gets harder. Wetter. Bunny angles his head, presses closer. He licks at Changmin’s lips, slides his tongue into Changmin’s mouth. Changmin twists on the bed to meet him, puts a hand on Bunny’s shoulder. The contrast between the cool slithery fabric of the smart-suit and Bunny’s warm skin is sort of mind-blowing. Changmin’s head starts to spin. He moves his hand, rubs circles against Bunny’s upper arm. God, he’s actually _touching_ a man. Touching Cutie Honey Funny Bunny. He can barely process it.

Bunny feathers his thumb across Changmin’s cheekbone, smoothes a caress over his ear, then strokes through his hair, messing up the safe, boring style he wears for work. A quiver goes through Changmin, a swell of pleasure at this simplest of gestures, and he makes a needy sound into Bunny’s mouth.

“Oh yes,” Bunny says, pulling away just a little. “You kiss beautifully.” His voice has gone all slow and sexy. “Your mouth must have been made for mine.”

“That sounds stupid,” Changmin mumbles, though the praise fizzes through his body and makes something lurch low down in his belly. They kiss again, and Changmin tightens his hand on Bunny’s arm, anchors himself long enough to lift his other hand and put it on Bunny’s chest.

Oh wow, he can feel the stiff point of Bunny’s nipple through the smart-suit. Changmin splays his hand across Bunny’s chest. It’s so much nicer than touching his own chest. Softer, but somehow not at the same time. He rubs the heel of his palm against Bunny’s nipple and hears— _feels_ —Bunny’s breathing quicken. That’s fun, so he does it again. Drags his hand down this time, strokes his thumb over and around the nipple until Bunny’s breaths are ragged and his kisses are a whole lot wetter, his tongue plunging, curling.

There’s power in a kiss, Changmin realises. Maybe he is good at something other than approving overdraft limits after all. He runs his hand from Bunny’s shoulder up into that fluffy gold-pink-red hair and draws him closer so they’re eating at each other, mouths open, saliva slick between them, both making raw, hungry noises in their throats.

Bunny pulls at Changmin’s staid navy blue tie. It slips from its knot and is cast onto the floor. Now his suit jacket, damp from the rain. Changmin helps, uncaring that the sleeves turn inside out as he flings the jacket away. They keep on kissing, and then Bunny unbuttons Changmin’s shirt. The thin cotton is soaked through, sticking to his skin, and when Bunny peels the fabric from him, Changmin starts shivering. Not because he’s cold, but because he’s feeling too much, his senses notched into overdrive. He bites at Bunny’s pouty lower lip, and Bunny sighs, puts his hands all over Changmin’s naked chest and strokes down to his waist. 

Changmin is hard. Embarrassingly so, painfully so. He’s trembling with the force of it, his cock aching and pulsing.

“Let’s get more comfortable,” Bunny murmurs, easing Changmin down onto the bed. They share more kisses, because Changmin really likes kissing now. Kissing Bunny is so much better than mouthing at his pillow or the back of his hand or even issue 7 of _Cutie Honey Funny Bunny_ which had that really hot fold-out poster.

They lie on their sides facing one another, tucked in close, legs entangled. A thrill fingers Changmin’s spine as he feels Bunny’s cock pressed hard against him. He touches Bunny, sweeps a hand from waist to hip; feels the taut stretch in the smart-suit where it’s moulded itself around Bunny’s erection. He’s not brave enough yet to touch there, so he fits his hand over the solid strength of Bunny’s thigh and slides his fingers back to grab a handful of Bunny’s ass.

Bunny bucks against him, and Changmin’s brain goes momentarily offline at the sensation of their cocks grinding together. Even through the layers of their clothes, it’s enough to steal speech and rob him of breath. Oh God, he won’t be able to deal with anything more than this, he’s sure of it. Things are moving kind of fast as it is, but at the same time he doesn’t care, because Bunny isn’t pushing him; in fact, he’s holding back, giving him all these sparking little touches but not following through, and it’s driving Changmin crazy.

Still lost in kisses, Changmin rolls onto his back, pulling Bunny with him. He doesn’t even realise he’s done it, the movement so instinctive, until Bunny settles between his thighs. Then Changmin groans and lifts his hips against the lovely warm weight on top of him. Oh, the reality of Bunny’s hard, aroused body snug and heavy over him—oh fuck, it’s amazing, even more amazing when Bunny leans into him, hips rolling in a slow, deep rhythm. Changmin drags away from the kiss and gasps for breath, feeling helpless and desperately turned on.

“You like this?” Bunny asks softly.

“Yes,” says Changmin. “Yes. Yes.” Everything feels messed up and shuddery, like he’s been dropped on the floor and broken and now he’s being put back together in a slightly different shape. “Yun—Bunny, kiss me.”

“Oh, you’re greedy,” Bunny murmurs, but he’s smiling and his face is flushed, his hair ruffled and his eyes shining.

Changmin moans into their next kiss. He can’t help it. Bunny shifts position and slides a hand between Changmin’s thighs and strokes the full length of his cock through the sensible trousers. 

Lust poleaxes him. Changmin writhes, his dick swelling, getting harder. He whimpers. “Please,” he says. “I want—” 

“Me too,” Bunny growls against his mouth. “Me too, baby.”

No one has ever called him ‘baby’ before. Not even as a joke. Changmin closes his eyes to block out the emotion that surges through him. 

“Oh God,” he gasps, arching up as Bunny gets his hand inside Changmin’s trousers and—holy shit, Cutie Honey Funny Bunny is _touching his cock_ and Changmin thinks his head is going to fall off, it’s spinning so much. His entire body locks down, absolutely rigid, as Bunny rocks his hand over Changmin’s dick, squeezing and stroking. 

“Oh fuck,” Changmin breathes, everything slipping away from him. He grabs at Bunny, frantic to hold onto something. His fingers dig into the smart-suit. Pleasure rises and rises. He squirms, thrusting into Bunny’s hand, his breath hitching and his heartbeat frantic. “Oh,” he says, threadlike and desperate, “oh,” and this is so different to when he gets himself off, it can’t even compare. He wants to say Bunny’s name but it comes out as _Yunny_ and then _Bunho_ and both of those are wrong, so he tips back his head and he arches, straining, and he wails, a long, drawn-out note as he explodes, body shaking, climax pumping through him.

It seems to last forever, pleasure roaring all around him, and then he feels the tension dissipate to leave him boneless and gasping.

Bunny gazes at him bright-eyed. “Wow. I guess you really needed that.”

“Sorry,” Changmin blurts, feeling every bit as greedy as Bunny had declared him earlier. Guilt creeps in and tells him he’s selfish and ungrateful. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You’re delicious. As hot as fuck.” Bunny withdraws his hand from Changmin’s trousers to display a fist coated in pearly dribbles of spunk. He licks it up with happy purrs of enjoyment. “You taste good, too. Seriously, Changminnie, why has no one touched you before?” 

Changmin blushes both at the utterly filthy sight of Bunny sucking come off his fingers and at the reminder of his virginity. “Because—uh, because I’m not very good with people. I don’t know what to say. How to respond.”

“I’d say you were responding very well to me.” Bunny slides on down Changmin’s body and puts his face in Changmin’s lap and licks up the rest of his spilled seed, spending a long time curling his tongue all around Changmin’s cock and nuzzling at his balls.

“You,” Changmin says, hands in Bunny’s hair, alternately pulling him up and pushing him down. “You should—I should— Uh, don’t you need to come?”

Bunny lifts his head, his mouth and chin and cheeks all glossy with saliva. “Oh, no,” he says, beaming. “I’m saving it for the main event.”

“Oh,” Changmin says, “um, well, what should I... How should we—”

“You need some recovery time,” Bunny tells him, sitting up and stripping off Changmin’s trousers and socks and underwear. “So I’m going to lick you all over until you’re ready for me.”

“That will take _forever_ ,” Changmin says, then realises how that could be misconstrued. “I mean, it’ll take forever to lick me, not to make me ready for you. I think I’m kind of ready now.”

“I want you even more ready,” Bunny says. “Panting, writhing, flushed, and begging-ready. Then I’m going to fuck you.”

“Oh God.” Desire flip-flops in Changmin’s belly. “You don’t need to lick all of me. I probably taste of rain and sweat and...”

Bunny kisses Changmin’s hip, licks across to circle his tongue around the indentation of Changmin’s navel. “You taste of you, and it’s perfect.” He clambers up and kisses him on the mouth, and Changmin’s eyes widen because—oh God—Bunny’s clothes have fallen off again, leaving only a narrow strip of smart-suit ribbon around his left bicep.

“Uh,” Changmin says, then everything stops as Bunny—hot, naked Bunny—lies on top of him—shivering, naked Changmin. “Oh. Oh, that’s... nice.”

“I’ll make it even nicer,” Bunny murmurs, kissing him hot and greedy, and then he moves down, licks Changmin’s neck, and it’s ticklish, so ticklish. Half panting, half laughing, completely turned on, Changmin writhes beneath Bunny’s weight until Bunny licks at the hollow of his throat between his collarbones, and God _fuck_ that sends a spike of something frantic and urgent straight to Changmin’s cock.

“Bunny,” he breathes, squeaks. “Oh, Bunny.” 

He rocks on the bed as Bunny works his way south. Words and images cram inside him—words like _Put your mouth on me_ and _Suck my cock_ ; the images half-remembered from all his favourite yaoi. Changmin moans and twists and then cries out when Bunny curves his hands over the top of Changmin’s thighs, licks at the sensitive skin between leg and torso, then nuzzles down into his pubic hair. Bunny sucks Changmin’s balls into his mouth one at a time, humming a little, and the noise shimmers through Changmin, lighting every nerve-ending and making him tense with want.

Heat slow-burns, sweat slicking his body. Changmin can smell himself, all ripe and aroused. He grasps the duvet, crumples it, but it’s not enough. Desperate, he grabs at Bunny’s hair, pulls at it. “Please, please, oh God _please_ —” 

Bunny just chuckles. Dirty evil bastard, turning him on like this. Changmin whines, bucks against him. In response, Bunny licks at him with just the tip of his tongue, licks him all the way up, circles around the head, flicks into the leaking wet slit. “Oh, Changminnie,” he sighs. “You taste amazing. I could lick you all night.”

Changmin thinks he might die for real if Bunny licks him for another five minutes, let alone all night.

Bunny stops mucking about with all this stupid foreplay and takes Changmin’s cock into his mouth. He sucks on him, draws him in deep, and Changmin thrusts and thrusts. He can’t form words now. He’s on fire, feels like he’s both outside and inside of himself, aware of a slow, heavy pulse as his mind unravels faster and faster. His balls tighten, his body lifting and tensing, and then he wails in disappointment as Bunny pulls off him and flips him over.

Changmin sprawls face down on the quilt. His legs and arms go everywhere, and for the first time in his life he wishes he’d bought a bigger bed, because this one is way too narrow and oh, _okay_ , maybe narrow is good after all, because Bunny is licking his way up Changmin’s legs, and who knew the backs of his knees were so sensitive?

Bunny slaps his ass. Just a gentle little smack, but Changmin jerks and his cock leaps, and jittery, anxious pleasure roils around in his belly. “Get up, Changminnie,” Bunny says. “On your hands and knees for me.”

Chest heaving, breaths getting faster and higher, Changmin struggles up onto all fours.

Tongue sweet and wet, Bunny licks up his thigh. His hair tickles at all that bare, vulnerable skin. Changmin knows what’s going to happen next but he can’t stop it. He doesn’t want to stop it. He realises he’s making all these desperate, gaspy _ah ah ah_ sounds that the uke always makes whenever he’s being mounted by the seme. He imagines his frantic breaths depicted as skittery speech bubbles, little puffs of SFX falling through the panel. He tries to imagine how he’d look as a line drawing, elegant curlicues of sweat running down his naked body, his legs even longer than in reality and his eyes huge and his hair perfectly dishevelled and his stupid too-wide mouth drawn small and budlike. 

Bunny puts both hands on Changmin’s ass. His palms are warm and soft. Changmin catches his breath. Holds it. His pulse thuds in his ears. His arms are trembling. A desperate keening noise breaks from his throat as Bunny presses down, presses apart, and Changmin’s hole is opened to his gaze.

“Oh, baby,” Bunny says after a pause that kills Changmin in a million different ways. “Oh, you’re gorgeous.”

“ _Please_.” The word blurts out before Changmin even knows what he’s saying. He’s panting now, shoulders quivering, hair hanging limp in his eyes. God, he’s going to start sobbing in a minute, proper honest to God sobs, because he has never, ever felt like this before and he can’t handle it, it’s too much, far too much, and—

Bunny rubs his face between Changmin’s ass-cheeks, sweeps his tongue wetly the full length of his crack from his balls to the tail of his spine.

Changmin lurches forward so hard he almost unbalances and falls. Words snarl up in his throat, sensible words like _Stop_ and _Don’t_ , and then they rearrange themselves and he finds himself panting “Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop” as Bunny licks and licks and makes Changmin slick and juicy with saliva, his face skidding through the squelchy, slippery wet mess he’s made.

Changmin’s bones turn to jelly. He has no strength left, none at all, but somehow he keeps himself upright and in position.

“Mm, Changminnie,” Bunny says, voice husky, and then there’s a finger breaching him, sliding all the way in before Changmin can clench against the invasion. Just Bunny’s finger feels big in that tight little passage, and Changmin gasps, wonders how he’s going to take something the size of Bunny’s massive cock.

“Oh, you _are_ tight.” Bunny sounds happy about this as he works in another finger, stretching Changmin’s hole.

Changmin squirms. “I told you—”

“You’ve never put anything up your ass?” Bunny asks, not mocking, just curious. 

A blush eats at Changmin. “My finger. Once. To see what it was like. I think I did it wrong, though. It hurt.”

“I won’t hurt you.” Bunny sounds fierce. A third finger pushes on in, fucking him, making him ready. “I’m very, _very_ good at this, remember.”

Changmin groans on a thick burst of pleasure. “I know. I know.”

“It would be easier if you stayed in this position,” Bunny says after a moment, “but...”

“But?”

“You’re so beautiful I want to watch you when I take you.”

“Oh God.” Changmin can’t hold himself up any more. His arms give out and he crumples to the bed in a quivering heap. He doesn’t know if it’s because Bunny said he was beautiful or because of the whole ‘take you’ thing. 

He lets Bunny turn him over and arrange him, hips rolled back and his legs hooked over Bunny’s shoulders, and he thinks this would look amazingly hot in a manga. It’d be the kind of panel he’d study and wank over at least a dozen times, and then he thinks _wait, lube, where is it_ and he says, “Bunny, Bunny, we need—”

“It’s okay,” Bunny assures him. “You may not have a self-lubricating ass but I totally have a self-lubing cock.”

“Oh yes,” Changmin says faintly, “issue 78, I remember.”

“Best idea Cassiopeia ever had,” Bunny says. “Makes everything a hell of a lot easier. Just feel—” and he slides his glorious thick length inside Changmin, all the way, pressing and pressing until he’s buried balls-deep.

Changmin arches, mouth stretched wide on a gasp, stunned by the reality of it. He’s fucking _impaled_ on Cutie Honey Funny Bunny’s cock, and ohhh God it feels good. Really good. So good he might just faint now.

And then Bunny moves, draws back and fucks into him again, and Changmin realises he was wrong. He’s not going to faint. He can’t possibly faint when it feels as if bolts of too-heavy, too-intense pleasure are slamming through him.

“You’re big, oh my God you’re _so fucking huge_ ,” Changmin mewls, but holy shit it’s amazing, being filled up like this. Bunny shudders against him, hitches his hips, slides in some more. Changmin clings onto Bunny like a drowning man and makes noises that don’t even sound human.

“You like that, baby?” Bunny asks, and his voice is all sexy and hot, like it’s dripping with honey. “Changminnie, is this good?”

“More than good. I love it,” Changmin moans. “Fuck me. Please fuck me.”

Bunny does as he’s told, going slow, but Changmin thrashes around, trying to shove himself onto Bunny’s dick. “Harder,” Changmin demands. “Fuck me harder. Yes. Oh, _ohhh yes_.”

Sensation swings up and catches him, violent and all-encompassing, and he needs this to go faster now, he needs so much more. He twists and writhes in Bunny’s arms, body jerking as Bunny slams into him, and then everything kicks up a notch and Changmin can barely breathe, something intense and terrible and wonderful thrumming through him, and he can’t take it, he just can’t, but he can, and it’s so _confusing_. 

“Oh, that’s so good. I can’t—oh, I can’t, oh—” He has no idea what he’s saying, but Bunny seems to like it, making a noise soft and growly.

“You gonna come, Changminnie?”

Almost, almost. Changmin wraps a hand around his dick and jerks off, moaning. Sparks fly around the edges of his vision; he turns his head frantically on the duvet, hair lashing into his eyes, into his mouth.

“Oh yeah,” Bunny says urgently. “Oh baby.” 

“Yes. Yes.” Changmin’s strung out, held on the edge, everything curling inside. “Make me come. Make me come on your cock.”

“Oh _fuck_ , Changminnie.” Bunny sounds startled, as if he hadn’t realised just how much pleasure he was going to find in his mission to rid Changmin of his virginity. “Oh God, I’m close. Come with me, baby. Come on.”

It hurls him over, hard and brutal and glorious. Changmin breaks apart at the sensation of being filled with Bunny’s hot spunk, and he’s coming and coming, ecstasy like a whiplash up his spine, pleasure exploding through him, and he’s gasping, crying out with his voice all raw and hungry. 

Changmin drops back onto the bed. He’s exhausted, slick with sweat, and it feels like the top of his head has lifted off. He’s shuddering and he can’t stop it, and his body is far too sensitive, jumping and sparking at every tender, soothing caress Bunny lays on him. Changmin wants to tell him to stop, that it’s okay, but all that comes out are shaking, heartfelt sobs of relief.

Bunny crawls over him, kisses him hard. “Changmin,” he says, voice rough, a wild, possessive look in his eyes.

Changmin smiles up at him, utterly wasted. “I’m not a virgin any more, am I?”

“No,” says Bunny. “Now you’re mine.” 

* * *

Changmin surfaces from sleep in slow stages, drifting awake to the knowledge that not only is his body aching with really pleasurable memories, but also he’s no longer a virgin. Yeah, he totally scored last night. It’s a good job no one in the chat rooms would believe him if he said Cutie Honey Funny Bunny had fucked him senseless, because he can scarcely believe it himself. And he doesn’t think he was hallucinating or anything, because Bunny’s still in bed with him. Which is odd, because once Bunny solves a problem he usually takes off to work on his next case, but Changmin isn’t going to complain.

“Mm,” he murmurs, burrowing against the warm strength of the man beside him. “Mmm, Bunny.”

His companion goes stiff. And not in a sexy way.

Changmin opens his eyes. Crap! He’s not in bed with Bunny. No more gold-pink-red hair and beaming smile and playful demeanour. No, now he’s in bed with Yunho, all sombre expression and cautious eyes and soft, ruffled black hair.

They stare at one another.

“Um,” Yunho says at length. “Sorry about this. I’m...”

“Jung Yunho,” Changmin supplies. “I know who you are.” 

“Yeah. The sensible, boring, everyday version of Cutie Honey Funny Bunny.” Yunho sits up, holding the duvet to his bare chest like he’s shy or something. He _is_ shy, Changmin realises, and damn if that isn’t all kinds of adorable after last night’s activities.

“I guess something went wrong. Obviously the problem didn’t just concern you, otherwise I’d be somewhere else by now.” Yunho looks around the apartment with curiosity, taking in the piles of manga and the carefully labelled shelves and the collection of _Cutie Honey Funny Bunny_ action figures still in their presentation boxes. He glances back at Changmin and gives a rueful smile. “Never thought I’d see the day when Bunny made a mistake.”

“I don’t think he did,” Changmin says. “He—I mean, you—er... It _is_ weird, actually, this split personality stuff...” He waves his hands as if he can push the weirdness away and tries again to marshal his thoughts. “Bunny came here to relieve me of my virginity. Bunny is no longer here; therefore he must’ve correctly identified the problem and solved it. Therefore—”

Yunho gazes at him, dark eyes expressionless. “Therefore?”

“Uh,” says Changmin, suddenly nervous, “therefore, um... How did you get away from that octopus?”

“What?” Yunho blinks, startled and then embarrassed. “Oh, not the octopus again. At least you didn’t see the bit with the fucking machine on page twelve.”

“Fucking machine?” Changmin wishes he’d read the doujinshi all the way through rather than jerking off over page five. “There was an actual fucking machine?”

“A sort of low-rent version of the one in _Barbarella_.” Yunho looks glum. “Then it started getting all Shirow-esque on me and I thought I might end up part-mecha, but obviously that would’ve been too much like crack so I turned into Bunny and beat the machine at its own game. It’s all very stupid. Cassiopeia was completely legless when she drew it—she didn’t even ink it, that’s how bad her hangover was the next day. Anyway, you didn’t miss anything by not getting past page five.”

“Actually, it sounds hot,” Changmin says. “And at the risk of sounding like a total wankerboy perv, I loved the bit with the octopus and I’m sure I’d have loved the scene with the fucking machine, too. The bit before you transformed, I mean.”

Yunho gives him a look. “You’re one of those people who think I’m a uke.”

“Aren’t you?” Changmin leans up on one elbow and stares at him. “You have to admit, the evidence is starting to add up. And it’s really hot to think that you might be a uke when Bunny is so blatantly a seme. That’s proper comic book duality, that is. I know you started seeing that therapist in issue 21 because of your tragic past, but that plotline didn’t go anywhere and nothing got resolved because you were too busy being Bunny, so I think if you really thought about it, you’d discover that you’re a total uke.”

Yunho smiles. “You’re kind of opinionated on these matters for someone who was so recently a virgin.”

“And you’re kind of shy and retiring for someone who fucks his way across every time period and galaxy known to man,” Changmin fires back, also smiling.

“All that shagging does get a bit wearing,” Yunho says. “But we’re wandering off the point. You were saying something about Bunny being right and therefore—”

“Therefore,” Changmin says, taking a deep breath, “therefore I think the problem must lie with you. Because you’re the one that’s here. Not Bunny.”

Yunho tilts his head, considering. “And you think you’re the one to solve my problem?”

Changmin shrugs. “I guess. That would be Bunny’s logic, anyway.”

Still holding his gaze, Yunho says, “What do you think my problem is?”

“I think you need to be a uke,” Changmin says. “Not with an octopus or a fucking machine but with a man. With me.”

Yunho stares at him for a long moment.

Changmin lifts his chin, pulse skittering and his body tightening on a curl of arousal at the thought that he could have both Bunny and Yunho. “You have to admit it has a certain pleasing symmetry to it.”

“Okay,” Yunho says at length. “Let’s try it.”

Changmin squeaks, sits up. “Really?”

“Uh, yeah.” Yunho’s smile is embarrassed and sweet. “I mean, you totally won Bunny over last night so there’s every chance you could do the same with me. Considering as how we’re the same person and all. The same but different. Anyway, I’m willing to try it if you want to fuck me.”

Oh boy, _if?_ Is Yunho insane or something? If. If! Changmin’s cock practically does a victory leap. He grins. “Okay, let’s do it. Lose that duvet _right now_.”

“Ooh, bossy.” There’s a flash of amusement in Yunho’s eyes as he hauls the quilt off the side of the bed and onto the floor.

“Not bossy,” Changmin corrects, admiring the view. Yunho’s dick is every bit as huge as Bunny’s, which it should be since they’re the same person, but Changmin never takes anything for granted where manga is concerned. “Just exercising my newly found sexual confidence.”

Yunho spreads himself out on the bed. “Come and exercise it on me, then.”

Changmin has a brief moment of flailing panic as he reminds himself _you were a virgin about seven hours ago_ but then he remembers that he’s read literally thousands of yaoi manga and watched several dozen anime. Time to put all that accumulated knowledge into practice. He can absolutely give Yunho a good fucking, yes he can.

But maybe they’ll just start with kissing. Changmin considers himself quite the expert now. He curls over Yunho and sort of hangs there, lips parted and his breathing rapid and whispery as he stares down. “You’re sexier than Bunny,” he says.

Yunho quirks an eyebrow. “You’re only saying that because I’m about to let you fuck me.”

“No.” Changmin shakes his head, hair whipping into his eyes. “I really... I mean, Bunny is stars-go-supernova hot, but you—this part of you... You were always my favourite character.”

“You say the sweetest things, Changminnie.” Yunho smiles up at him, his eyes all velvety. “I think you’re going to be my favourite lover.”

Changmin’s mind goes blank at that. He wants to jump up and turn cartwheels, but he doesn’t want to leave the bed and also he doesn’t think he knows how to do cartwheels, so instead he settles for kissing Yunho. It’s not much, a hesitant press of his lips, just in case Yunho wants to change his mind, but then Yunho makes a soft, sexy little groan against Changmin’s mouth and that’s it.

Leaning down, Changmin kisses him properly. Yunho lifts a hand, slides it around Changmin’s nape, tangles his fingers through Changmin’s hair. Another sigh, and then Yunho pulls him closer. Changmin stops being so tense and relaxes down on top of him, moaning at the sensation of stretching out over Yunho, both of them naked and very much aroused, delicate streaks of wetness dabbing across their bellies. 

Changmin puts more fire into the kiss, stroking his tongue into Yunho’s mouth. His dick twitches, arousal pumping through him, and he can’t help it—he rocks his hips, grinds down, and the ache in his cock increases a hundredfold, and it’s nice, oh it’s nice, and it’s making him crazy, too, because Yunho bucks up against him and they’re sort of blundering into this rhythm together, all frenzied, and they’ve barely even started yet.

Somehow Changmin remembers that he’s in charge. Mouth still busy with kisses, he puts a hand on Yunho’s chest, just like he’d done last night with Bunny, but this time there’s no smart-suit, this time there’s just warm naked flesh. Changmin brushes his thumb over the tight bead of Yunho’s nipple, and oh, it must be sensitive because Yunho moans and quivers and arches beneath him.

That’s too intriguing to pass up, so Changmin trails kisses down from Yunho’s mouth to his chest and just puts his head there, because it’s soft and warm and when he sticks out his tongue and laps at Yunho’s skin, he tastes of sweet, fresh sweat. Changmin licks his fingers and scissor-twists them over Yunho’s left nipple while he applies his mouth to the right. Yunho makes a needy sound and ruts up, and Changmin twists a little harder, bites down just so, and Yunho blurts out, “I like it, oh I like that, don’t stop.”

Changmin feels completely fucking fantastic. He is a Grade A lover. Look at him go, making Yunho all wobbly-voiced like that just from some licking and biting. Buoyant with enthusiasm, he works at Yunho’s tits for a bit longer until Yunho shifts restlessly beneath him and squirms around and says, “I need you to fuck me really soon. Need it, Changminnie. Really, really need it.”

“Okay,” Changmin says, winded by a punch of lust, “okay, we need...” He anchors himself with one hand against Yunho’s shoulder and leans off the mattress. Groping beneath the bed, he dislodges a pile of manga and knocks over a box of tissues before he gets his hand around the bottle of lube. He rolls back up and there’s a brief flurry of confusion as they both try to rearrange themselves into position at the same time. Changmin curses his narrow bed and their ridiculously long legs. So much for his imagined skill; maybe he’s more of a Grade B Could Try Harder lover after all.

Yunho smiles. “Laugh, Changminnie. Sex is fun.”

Yes, yes, it is fun. Changmin kisses him for that, kisses him until they’re hot and bothered again, desire dragging over them, pinning them. Mindful of how wet and squelchy he was when Bunny fucked him, Changmin squeezes out a generous amount of lube and slicks it around Yunho’s hole, glides the remainder over his own dick. 

“Get in me,” Yunho begs. “Oh fuck please, get in me _now_.” 

Changmin reaches down and tries to line himself up, but he’s too eager and too turned-on, and shit, he’s making a mess of this, he’s going to hurt Yunho in a minute—and then Yunho eases up against him, slick with the gel smearing down his thighs and running all the way down his crack, and he puts a hand on Changmin’s cock and guides him, eyes closing, mouth opening, and then he makes a sound, low and guttural and sounding like _Ohhhhhfuuuhhh_ as Changmin pushes on into him.

God. Fuck. Oh. Changmin thinks he’s about ten seconds from coming, just at the tight silky grip Yunho has on his dick. He wants to jabber praise about how good this feels. No, he wants to write poetry about it and make installation art and take out a full-page ad in the newspaper.

Changmin drops his weight through his arms and leans forward, frantic for another kiss. He needs the reassurance of it, needs to know that Yunho is enjoying this as much as his incoherent noises suggest. Yunho kisses him back, hot and wet and hectic, and Changmin sinks into pleasure. He churns his hips hard and fast, fingers pressing into sweat-slicked skin; he holds on tight and screws into Yunho like they’ll both die if he doesn’t. Yunho meets him thrust for thrust, demanding and savage, and the bed creaks, the springs squeal in protest, and he’ll need a new mattress when this is done but he doesn’t care, no, he doesn’t care one little bit.

He folds over Yunho, pants something desperate and embarrassing against his throat— _oh fuck I love you I love you_ —and then he fastens his teeth in Yunho’s shoulder and bites him hard.

“Yes, oh Changmin,” Yunho babbles, voice rising and breathless, and he grabs onto him, grinds his cock against Changmin’s abs. “Fuck that’s good, that’s—right there right _there_ , ohhh...” The last noise ends on a sob, a dirty moaning sob, and then his hand is around his dick and he’s jacking off hard and fast and he says, all high and gaspy, “Changminnie, oh, you’re gonna make me come.” 

And oh God it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen, hotter than Imperial Concubine Bunny in issue 111, hotter than Pole-Dancer Bunny in the 2009 Christmas special, this is fucking incredible and Yunho is coming apart and it’s all because of _him_.

Changmin surges into him, orgasm rising and cresting, and then it rips through him, twisting him up inside and then letting him spin free. His senses white out and he shudders and jerks against Yunho, inside Yunho, and then he lies draped over him like a wet rag.

After a moment in which the whole world spins around them and several planets flip on their axis, Yunho strokes a hand into Changmin’s hair and caresses him, over and over.

Changmin holds on to him. “I don’t want you to go.”

About a minute passes. And another. Absolutely nothing happens. 

Yunho exhales, brushes his sweat-dampened hair from his eyes. “It doesn’t look like I’m going anywhere.”

“So that wasn’t the only problem we needed to solve.” Changmin knows he should be more sympathetic about Yunho’s predicament, but inside he’s cheering and doing fist bumps at the thought of keeping Yunho here a while longer. Like maybe forever. He tries to look thoughtful and concerned. “But what else could it be?”

They lie there in silence for a while. Yunho carries on stroking Changmin’s hair, and Changmin nestles against him happily. Even without the duvet to keep them warm, it’s comfortable.

“Maybe,” Yunho begins, then falls silent again.

Changmin lifts his head. “Maybe what?”

“It’s just a crazy idea. Forget it.” Yunho looks awkward, a faint blush touching his cheekbones.

“No, tell me.” Changmin wriggles onto his front and props himself up on his elbows. “I don’t care how crazy it is. Let’s discuss it.”

Yunho’s gaze slides away and he seems to be contemplating the _Accidental Dial-a-Deity_ glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling above the bed. “It’s just...” he says, then tries again: “I was just thinking, I haven’t had a love interest since my partner was killed off in the prequel. Maybe it’s time I found someone. Someone who’s not going to freak out about me being Bunny. Someone who understands both me and Bunny.”

Changmin blinks, surprised. “But aren’t you still heartbroken?”

Yunho flicks him a droll look. “It _has_ been one hundred and twenty-eight issues. I think I’m over it now.”

“But,” says Changmin carefully, caught between OMG and WTF and several other acronyms, “won’t having a boyfriend spoil the dynamic of the story?”

“No,” Yunho says. “It’ll be different, that’s all.” He thinks some more, runs a ticklish caress down Changmin’s arm. He smiles. “I know Cassiopeia was thinking of retiring Bunny soon and starting a new series, something more realistic and complex. There’s no reason why it can’t be about us.”

“You really want me to be your boyfriend.” Changmin feels all wobbly. “In a manga.” He doesn’t know what’s better, being Yunho’s boyfriend or being in a manga. He thinks he’ll make a totally awesome character. “You really want this. Really truly.”

Yunho nods. “Really truly.” He pauses, then smiles again as brilliantly as Bunny. “So how about it? What have you got to lose?”

Changmin thinks of his life here: no real friends, a family largely uninterested in his existence, a boring job, a cramped apartment. All he has is his manga collection, and even that’s going to pale into significance now he’s been fucked by Bunny and made love to Yunho. True enough, being a manga character won’t all be hot sex and gratuitous nudity, he knows that. Chances are he’ll get kidnapped and molested and shot at and there’ll be doujinshi and fanfic featuring him getting it on with minor characters he has no interest in, but on balance he decides it’s probably worth it.

“So,” he says, drawing the word out, “if I agree to be your boyfriend, do I get to be the seme all the time?”

Yunho looks slightly offended. “Not all the time. I am still Bunny, you know. And you have such a sweet ass that I’ll just have to tap it every now and then. Like maybe three or four times a week.”

Changmin tries to keep the smile off his face. “Okay, I can cope with that. As long as I get to fuck you just as often.”

“We’ll be equals and switch roles. That seems fair.” Yunho holds out his hand. “Deal?”

“Deal.” They shake on it.

“But how do we get into the manga?” Changmin asks.

“The same way Bunny and I got out. Through the combination of the doujinshi and your magical spunk.” Yunho rolls over, reaches under the bed, and comes back up waving the doujinshi. He lays the manga on the mattress between them and opens it at random—not at pages four and five, since they’re stuck together—then curls his hand around Changmin’s dick and starts stroking.

“Unf,” Changmin says, squirming into Yunho’s grip as he tries to get a good look at the doujinshi. “Ohh, is that the fucking machine? Oh God, I _knew_ it’d be hot. Look at you all tied up and helpless in that thing. That’s—that’s just filthy.”

“Uh-huh, it certainly is.”

Changmin tears his gaze from the distraction of the doujinshi and stares at Yunho, hips still moving, cock swelling and his heartbeat accelerating. “Will this actually work?”

“Of course it will,” Yunho says with a beaming smile. “This is sequential art. Anything can happen.”


End file.
